Going Insane

im just going insane

these days arent like what they used to be
day and night come and go
and ive become my biggest foe
then slowly i realize what i lost

an explosion is about to happen to my brain
im, im just going insane
my mind is going down the drain
im, im just going insane

just standing there shouting at myself
i see my sanity on life's useless shelf
and i can tell my mind is breaking down
im not anymore that clown

screaming and punching the wall
i think someone made me into a voodoo doll
i cant bare this pain at all
my life is slowly going to fall

an explosion is about to happen to my brain
im, im just going insane
my mind is going down the drain
im, im just going insane

Dreamland

im off to a land
a land where i can do anything
where the weather is always nice
the people are always willing to be there
and you can do whatever your heart desires
your imagination is unlimited
its a land that everyone can go to
its the perfect place to go and escape
to leave the dark and gloomy world
leave all the negative shit behind
and for once to smile
not just any smile, but one that comes from within
there are days where the blood flow doesnt do anything
where the knife has no use
nor does the bullet come out of the chamber
this is my special place
and no one else can come in

Dead Inside

i don't drink cause i m sad
i drink cause i want feel something
feel something inside
cause inside i m dead
i have nothing inside
tell me if you have ever been there
i bet you haven't
there are days where i would do anything to feel something
i would give a limb to feel
but life is not like that
i try to pretend to feel
but i fail badly
when i see other people being happy
i wish i could be them
even the ones who are sad and down
just to have something
i look at the bottle im drinking
and the reflection i see is empty
i can hardly even tell that it is me
all i can really tell it is a face that once felt things indisde and out
but the face is also dead
just like its soul

Choices

do you really want it like this
do you really want to end it like that
do you really want to act like that
do you really want to have it like this
i try my best
i try my all
and it does not seem like its enough
all i do is all i can
if i could give a bit more
hell i would give it
theres some things i just cant do
and you must accept it
if not just move on
in the past ive done it all
in the past ive got hurt
in the past ive suffered
in the past all i did was for you
but now its all up to you
but now its in your hands now
but now you must look back
but now you have to make a decision
take a step
take a breath
and make sure you make the choice

Her Smile

a smile
a smile is all she has to give me
her smile is very dreamy
her smile keeps me warm
her smile gives me strength
although it only measures a few inches
those few inches goes a long way
for sure it makes my day
it keeps me company
gives me something to come home to
her smile means the world to me
and when im in total darkness
its there to bring my spirit up
it may not seem like much
i get a sensation when i get a touch
but to me its a big deal
even though sometimes that smile comes down
i do my best to bring it up like it did to me
when it comes back up again it will be lovely

Shell

This is my very first blog post. Every monday i will post a new post and spread my writings, ideas, and feelings. I hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoy writing. This writing is called Shell.

You are black on the outside
but white as a cloud on the inside
you have been caged way too long
and when you come out
you feel as your not too strong
you have no idea what to do
the world is on the outside
and not your cage at home
so take life as a joyride
world is for you to explore
so break the leash that’s holding you
and run freely without a care
cause now the world is just for you
Don’t let no one bring you down
this is your time to shine bright
smile and do not frown
its not everyday that you feel the air
its not everyday that you feel the sun
go out onto the brand new world
and make sure you leave your mark
so that people know that you are out
remember that you are young
and this world is old
take full advantage of it and have fun
so go out and lay out it the sun
And break out of that shell